Saturday, September 21, 2013

Three Things the Parents Should not Do in Front of their Children

The nature and the importance of parents children relationship cannot be determined through any scale. Children are little seeds. They gives great importance to the role of their parents in their lives. They are totally dependent on their parents in their early age. The parents have a special place in their life. Psychologically, the children are very sensitive towards their parents and their place in their life. As the parents play a vital role in character building, personality grooming, and nourishment of their children, the children are highly
concerned to the care and safety and emotional needs of their parents. The sensitive and normal children have a sense of responsibility for their parents and they are always keep on trying to serve to the expectations of their parents from them.
The attitude and behavior of parents towards their children negatively or positively influence their (children’s) psyche especially when children are above 10. The following things from parents influence the emotionality of the children so much that they are always stresses, frustrated, and tensed. These things may cause suicide of a child.

  1. The parents should not quarrel in front of their children. The personal disputes and exchange of harsh words and blows, as it sometimes happens, may have unhealthy effect on the mental health of the children. The children understand the role of each parent in their  (children’s) lives and they never want disturbance in such roles and relations. The conflicts between parents produce a lot of tension and anxiety in the children which make them emotionally disturbed and their mental health is affected. It further leads to low mental performance of the children.
  2. The parents, especially a mother, should not emotionally blackmail to their children. As the parents know, their children are highly sensitive towards them (parents). To get their own decisions approved, the parents often emotionally blackmail their children. For example, a mother may start crying if a son argue with her on a decision she wants to take for him. This situation confused the child so much that he may think of committing suicide or he may leave the house because on one hand he thinks that he is right and his mother actually does not understand her and on the other hand he cannot see her mother crying. This happens especially when the child is over or near 15. And of course the mother uses her tears just to influence the child’s decision or mind. She knows that if she weeps, her son or daughter will give up before her motherly tears.
  3. The third thing is related to the children near or over 20 who have greater sense of responsibility. when children have completed their education and are in search of a good job, the parents often hurt them with unsupported and discouraging remarks about their being jobless. This is very sensitive time for the children and they have high sense of responsibility towards their parents. They are already in stress for not having a good job. And of course they do their best to get a job. And at the same time the comments of the parents destroy their spirit.

It happens both in positive and negative remarks of the parents that a job seeker child get tensed. For example, if a mother, in the presence of her job seeker child, prays to God for a good job for her child, the child may take it to his self esteem or something like that. Similarly if a mother or father frequently expresses his/her desire for a good job for his child in the presence of that very child, the child may get frustrated on being unemployed.

All the things which may sooth a child are positive expressions in favor of their struggle. For example when a father says, “ Don’t worry about the job son, you will get it when the times come.”, it will encourage and child and will support his struggle. In frequent expressions for a high standards of life for their children, the parents tease them so much that they think of committing suicide.

The majority of the jobless people who commit suicide are inspired by the remarks of their parents to take this action. Many a suicides can be avoided if the parents understand the emotional condition of the children in their job seeking period.

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