Sunday, August 4, 2013

How Your Marriage Influences Your Personality



Personality is infinite vicinity. It is a vast concept and too complex to be described in a few paragraphs. Not leaving myself devoted to define the personality and its types, I come to the point; let me describe how different personality habits affect and contribute to matrimonial bliss. These logic are merely approximates, since they are not research based and are not in precise language of science.
These facts are based on just observations and informal interviews with such men and women. The article describes the changes which marriage brings in one’s personality. The article compares
the changes in the personality of happily married and unhappily married men and women.

First we talk about happily married men. They pose a stable emotional tone. They are cooperative; they have such attitude towards their superiors, their wives, their inferiors and underprivileged. They take interest in others in difficulties. They try to become extroverted and provisional in social gatherings. They are very careful about their assignments; they do their work with great care and attention. They have more sense of responsibility and willingness to give extra care to their daily work. They like to plan their work and they do it in a procedural way and they like such men as do the same. They are frugal and economic in terms of expenses. They try to save money and try to avert wastage of money on useless shopping. They are cautious in their expenditures and budget consumption. They have conservative thinking and methodology. They have strict belief in religion and heavenly acts. They are conventional in terms of sex mores and relational foundations

Unhappily married men are much more different from those happily married. They are often rude and uncooperative. They are often victim of inferiority complex. They don’t want to be striking in social gatherings and they are highly reactive in social opinion. The special feature of their personality is that they like to spend most of their time in their subordinates or inferiors or in front of wives where they could take pleasure in commanding role. They try to avoid competitions and inferior roles. They are often absorbed in deep thinking or in a state of unconsciousness. They spend their time in daydreaming. They are careless in their work; they do not do their work with proper attentions and interest. They dislike saving money and are slapdash in their expenses. They express irreligious attitude and are radical approach towards sex mores and politics.

Happily married women are kind and caring to others and they want kindness and care from other in return. They are forgiving and simple in their dealings with others. They are highly concerned with social relations and they never let a precious relation spoiled for and unreasonable reason. They accept the criticism with a smile and take others comments as a source of reformative changes in their personality. They are flexible and soft. They try to sooth others even at their own expenses. They take pleasure in helping others. They are optimistic and conventional. They work with devotion and attention. They make fewer complaints about what they miss in life. They believe in their good luck and bright future. They are religious and conservative sex and politics.

Unhappily married women pose the same changes after their marriage as do unhappily married men. They are moody and instable in emotions. They are aggressive due to inferiority feelings they have in themselves. They are egocentric and they have little interest in welfare activities. They find opportunities for their personal recognition and prestigious outcome. They don’t take pain in their work and responsibilities. They are pessimistic and narrow minded. They are inclined to be irritable and autocratic. They like to build more acquaintances but just for being more important rather being liked. They are radical in politics, religion and social ethics.

Terman[1] has also described the same characteristics for these types of men and women. He, anyhow, have tried to produce a scientific impression in his article; he conducted a research with married men and women-some of them were happily married and some were unhappily married. He further concluded with theory as:

“Our theory is that what comes out of a marriage depends upon what goes into it and that among the most important things going into it are the attitudes, preferences, aversions, habit patterns, and emotional response patterns which give or deny to one the aptitude for compatibility. In other words, we believe that a large proportion of incompatible marriages are so because of a predisposition to unhappiness in one or both of the spouses. Whether by nature or by nurture, there are persons so lacking in the qualities which makes for compatibility that they would be incapable of finding happiness in any marriage. There are others, less extreme, who could find it only under the most favorable circumstances; and still others who disposition and outlooks upon life would preserve them from acute unhappiness however unfortunately they were mated.”

Incorporating Terman’s theory in our consideration, we can conclude this article in the way as:
In simple words, the happiness and unhappiness in matrimonial life is the product of the spouses being mated, their preferences, attitude, willingness or unwillingness for marriage, emotional aspects of personality etc. The compatibility in these factors and the willingness for marriage of both spouses would bring about happy married life and the incompatibility in these factors and the unwillingness for marriage of one or both of the spouses would bring about unhappy married life.



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